When Parenting Feels Like Groundhog Day

My good friend, and the founder of Our Whole Village, Patricia Monahan, wrote a blog post for Our Whole Village last year titled “Parent Like A Traveler.” The post, with its focus on mindful parenting, inspired me and motivated me. But, if I’m being completely honest, I also felt a twinge of, “oh man, I don’t think I’m cutting it.”

I LOVE the idea and the post has really fantastic advice that I honestly wish I was capable of following 100% of the time. And, on some days, I really do parent like a traveler.

But, on other days, I parent like that traveler who just missed the only daily connecting flight to their island destination on a four-day getaway, who waited for the last bag to come around the carousel to find it’s not theirs and who just discovered that the back zippered pocket of their backpack is open and their money and credit cards are gone. Aaahhhhhhh!!!!!

Yep, I’ve been that parent. The one who is doing everything possible to not scream obscenities and keep my head from exploding in anger. Mindful, serene parenting? Not so much!

There are loads of articles on how to be a respectful parent, how to parent mindfully and how to raise children without getting angry, yelling, snipping, etc. I think these articles are great and I do try to incorporate many of the helpful tips and advice. And, more often than not, I think (though maybe you shouldn’t ask my kids), I am successful in being a calm, happy parent.

At the same time, though, these articles can have the ultimate result of making us feel like bad parents even when we are trying our very hardest.

I don’t know a single parent who is mindful, respectful and serene 100% of the time when it comes to dealing with their kids. Parenting is a lifelong lesson in anger management. And, some days are better than others.

There are days that literally feel like Groundhog Day. “Get dressed. Brush your teeth. Where are your socks? You need to get your socks. Your socks are in your sock drawer – the same place they reside every day. Did you get your socks? Go get your socks! They’re in your sock drawer.” And on and on. You know how it goes. It is honestly enough to make you crazy.

Most days, I can keep it together. I know my daughter is young and this process of needing constant direction and reminding is part of being a kid. I try to embrace the fact that she is exploring life every second of the day — learning and growing in the process. So, for her, finding her socks is not the most important, nor exciting, thing to be doing. But, let’s be honest, we also need to get out the door by a certain time each morning! On those days, I’m parenting like the missed-connection-lost-bag-stolen-money parent where all I can do is look inward and try to recall some anger management techniques.

Should we aspire to parent like a traveler? Yep. Is it going to happen all the time? Nope. Just remember in those times when you do lose your cool: it happens and you’re not alone. And, despite it all, you are doing a pretty damn fine job at this whole parenting thing!

So yeah, parent like a traveler, but know that travel and travelers aren’t flawless — and neither is parenting.

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